It was too long as an ask I’m afraid. I just needed someone to know.
i’m not doing this anonymously, if anything I’m not coward.I just need to tell someone.
From a young age I’ve had ‘issues’, let’s leave it at that for now. My second girlfriend recently left me and in my deluded state I was supported and nurtured by a very close female friend of mine, I screwed it all up when I made myself believe I was over her 2 weeks later and told her I loved her. Since then my ex has told me she’s willing to give me a second chance and I cheated but she didn’t know I did.
Now both my ex’s, my first girlfriend of 3 years and my second girlfriend who got me out of the hell I was in, who I can’t say a bad word about because she means so much to me, the girl who taught me how to love again. And my very close friend, who I thought I could make our friendship blossom into something much more, they all despise me.
I never meant for any of this, I never wanted to hurt anyone but it’s all I seem capable of doing. My body’s become a bloody carnival of scars since that and I just want to stop existing, just disappear so no one ever has to see me again, so that I can wallow in this guilt forever.
I just want them to know how sorry I am, I want forgiveness from them and then a swift fucking death. Please, just help me.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: first of all, I don’t think anyone who goes on anon is a coward, because everyone has different reasons if they go anon or they don’t go on anon. But I’m glad you chose to go off anon. I’m sorry this took so long to answer, but I hope your still around because you deserve ro be here and be alive.
Anyways, they may despise you, but if you ended your life, they would end up feeling horribly. They would blame themselves, they would feel guilty. If your trying to end your life because you caused them pain then thats not really going to do anything besides make everything worse. And I’m sorry about that, I know that’s not you intention but thats the truth.
There’s so many reasons for you to live, anyways, you have a future. Youre going to find someone else one day. I know you will. And you’ll find someone who you are meant to be with. Dont give up. You feel guilty, but not everything is your fault. When relationships fall short and end then it’s both peoples fault. You cheated, but you feel bad about and it doesn’t sound like you plan on ever doing it again. You broke your friends heart, but it wasn’t intentional.
We’re only human, we make mistakes. Don’t end your life because of a few mistakes you made. You can do this, I believe in you. Keep going, keep trying, no matter how much it hurts..
Hope I helped,
-Ash
11:15 am • 28 May 2012
Anonymous asked: Me and my best friend are both really depressed at the moment. She's the one that always expresses it around me, when I usually keep it bottled up around her. She's talking about not having a future and giving up and i'm terrified because she's the only reason i'm still around. If i talk to her about it, it's just going to set her off and she's got enough to deal with and i just don't know what to do anymore..i'm so lost.
Tell someone. Tell her parents how she feels and why it’s scaring you. Tell her that you were worried. Don’t let her life be lost. As for you, you can do this. I know you can. But I really suggest that you try and tell someone how you are feeling too, someone who can get you the help you need. I know how you feel, honey, and I know how hard it is, but I also know that you can do this. You are strong enough. I love you, stay strong.
Hope I helped,
-Ash
10:55 am • 28 May 2012
Anonymous asked: Okayy.. I know this is a big problem but i just thought i would ask someone... Well i'm going on a drama trip at the end of May && everything was fine til today, when i found out i would have to sing in front of a coach on my own. I am shiiiit at singing and i'm really worried!! The teacher will get really mad if i say i don't want to do it && it's to late to back out of the drama trip now... I really don't know what to do:/
Just go into it, and be confident, you might not be as bad as you think and if you are, then go in and do it. this is really overused, but yolo.
i’m going into a drama boot camp workshop all summer and it includes dancing, and i SUCK at dancing, but just the parts where i’ll laugh at myself for not knowing how to “shake my hips” is the fun part of it.
just enjoy yourself.
xxxx, alex.
1:28 am • 28 May 2012
Anonymous asked: I just don't know what to do anymore... People say to follow your dreams. Then they say don't live for the life you have planned; live for the life you have. I'm such a loser. I want to be strong, but I don't know what to do. A couple weeks ago I cried for an hour in a teen conference. I don't know what to do. My mom isn't there for me and I feel so helpless...
You need to follow your dreams. At the end of the way, it’s what fulfills us and makes us feel happy, knowing that what we were hoping for came true, or that at least we tried.
You’re not a loser; and being strong isn’t easy, you have to fully accept your flaws and the things you might dislike about yourself and realize that those are the things that make you, be you. and then also, you have to make sure you know that sometimes people WANT to get you down, they want you to feel like the world is disappointing, but don’t let that get to you.
talk to your mom, tell her you feel like she’s not there for you, that you need her and that you need to feel like she’s there for you no matter what.
xxxx, alex.
1:26 am • 28 May 2012
Anonymous asked: I constantly need a problem in my life or else I end up worrying about everything. If nothing's wrong, I make a mountain out of a molehill. How do I fix that trait? Also, my dear friend told me that my flaws are being pushy and clingy/not an individual. How do I change that? This friend told I keep following people around and should be my own person.
Dear anon,
sometimes when we realize our mistakes and flaws is when it becomes easier for us to fix them. Don’t completely change who you are, but if you agree with what your friend is saying and want to change that about you, then notice what makes you act all clingy and try to not make those same choices again.
sometimes when someone acts clingy to someone else, is because they’re afraid they might lose that person or that their relationship won’t be the same anymore, if that’s the case with you, then let go of that fear, because it’s only holding you back.
and as whether you’re yourself or try to be what others are, that’s up to you to realize that you’re pretty much amazing just the way you are and you don’t have to be anyone but yourself.
xxxxx, alex.
1:24 am • 28 May 2012
Anonymous asked: Hey. My friend has a countdown. She's counting down the days until she is going to end her life. It is about in a month and a half. I am so scared. Terrified. She told me not to tell anyone but I need to save her. How can I do that? Please please please help me. :''(
Show her why life is worth living and don’t keep quiet about this. Tell her mom, at first she’ll be really angry, but you’re saving her life by telling her mom. honestly, it’s what i would do. if you keep quiet, it might be too late to help her through anything.
xxx, alex
5:33 pm • 19 May 2012 • 1 note
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend is abusive but I can't leave him. I'm scared to.
You need to leave him though and there are people that can help you. Get your stuff together (if you live with him) when hes not there and then text him telling you that you are leaving him (it’s safer for you to end things like that) and then get out of there. If he threatens you, call the police. See if your family or friends can help support you in getting away from him.
Contact this hotline. They can try and help you, it’s for people just like you. You can get away from him. http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/contact-the-hotline/
Hope I helped,
-Ash
1:26 am • 13 May 2012
Anonymous asked: Hey I have a brother who is 3 & has a babysitter that works until 6 pm then me and my other little brother take over. I have friends that I love being around and they invite me to all these places. But because my parents don't get home from work until like 9 I can't go out because I have to babysit. It just gets annoying because I know that they're out having fun without me. I feel so left out because I feel like they're getting closer to each other and would not want to be close with me anymore
Maybe you can invite them to come over sometime? That way you can still take care of your brother but hang out with them as well. Also, they probably understand, so they arent going to leave you behind or forget you, and if they do, they’re not the best friends.
Hope I helped,
-Ash
1:22 am • 13 May 2012
Anonymous asked: Hi... So my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because he felt he 'couldn't ever love me' then two weeks later he kissed me and a week after that we ended up having sex. I went to a party last weekend and kissed another guy and my ex kissed me again. But I think I like my best friend, but if I don't know if I should tell him... Bearing in mind these three guys are all friends and I'm feeling like a bit of a slutty idiot... What do I do? Thank you <3
Just try and figure out who you like the most. Maybe try and separate yourself from seeing them for a few days at the least to work out your feelings, to figure out who you want and if any of them may be just using them. It’s okay to take time to yourself to figure out a stressful situation such as this.
And you are not slutty or an idiot, and you will figure this out. :)
Hope I helped,
-Ash
1:18 am • 13 May 2012
